Faith & Inspiration Archives - thefruitfulfamily.com

How to Trust God Completely and Step Out in Faith

by amanda@thefruitfulfamily.com | Jul 21, 2019 | Faith & Inspiration

For most of us, loving Jesus comes easy, yet when it comes time to let go and trust God, many of us struggle. I know I have (and still do from time to time). When you feel like you are the glue holding your family together, it can be hard to hand it all over to the Lord without knowing His plan.

When you are called by the Holy Spirit to do something outside your comfort zone without knowing the outcome, how do you step out in faith? What if something bad happens? What if the life you’ve worked so hard to build falls apart? What if obeying God means hardship for you and your family?

These are the thoughts that have kept me up at night.

I am your typical, type A personality. A control freak to the core.

I live by my lists and my planner. If we are planning to go out of town, I start packing a month in advance and make a checklist to make sure we don’t forget anything.

I consider it my responsibility as wife and mom to make sure everything runs smoothly for our family. If things go wrong or something gets missed, I consider it a personal failure.

Does any of this sound familiar?

I was born again over ten years ago. Sadly, I wasted a lot of time since then trying to maintain control over every aspect of my life. Oh, the countless hours spent planning and worrying!

There were times when I mustered the courage to step out in faith with amazing results. It led to making cherished new friends and even a job I loved. But one time, it led to broken relationships and heartache. It caused me to doubt God’s plan and my ability to do what He asked of me.

I always knew God loved me, but I also believed God helps those who help themselves. (This is WRONG and I’ll tell you why later in this post.)

When my daughter was born, I felt the heavy weight of responsibility on my shoulders. After all, it was my duty as her mother to provide a happy life for her. To help her learn and grow. My lists grew and the stress mounted.

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Stepping Out In Faith…

A couple of years ago, I again felt the nudge of the Holy Spirit leading me to do something big. I felt that God was calling me to write and minister to other women like me.

I didn’t feel qualified and I had no clue where to start. I wasn’t sure if I could do it and I worried it would interfere with my other responsibilities. Slowly but surely, stumbling every step of the way, I started this blog. I didn’t know if it would actually help anyone, and I still don’t. But I have since seen God work in my life and provide confirmation as I put myself out there, inch by inch.

What Helped Me Learn to Trust God

To Trust God, You Must Seek Him.

The Bible instructs us repeatedly to seek God and assures us that if we do this, He will bless us and provide for us.

But seek first the kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Mathew 6:33

Those who know your name trust in you, for you, Lord, have never forsaken those who seek you. Psalm 9:10

The Lord is good to those whose hope is in Him, to the one who seeks him. Lamentations 3:25

The lions may grow weak and hungry, but those who seek the Lord lack no good thing. Psalm 34:10

God gave us His Holy Word so that we may know His heart. Study the Bible. Fill yourself with His Word and let it transform you. Work diligently to obey His commandments and He will not disappoint you.

I know from experience when you are seeking God and actively striving to obey Him, you can’t mess things up! When you are filled with God’s word and acting in faith He is free to work in ways you could not imagine. And He is too big and too powerful to fail, no matter what mistakes you make along the way. He often uses them for your benefit!

You don’t have to figure it all out, you just have to pursue a relationship with Him and He will do the rest.

Let Go of What’s Comfortable-Step Out in Faith

God wants more for His children than just an easy, comfortable life. He wants to challenge us and help us grow in our faith to be powerful and triumphant. He wants us to give up our own ideas of what life should be in exchange for something far greater.

Luke 9:24 states, “For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will save it.”

This verse isn’t just referring to Christians that are martyred. Luke is saying that anyone that holds on to their worldly life of comfort will miss out on a victorious life in Christ. And those that live for Him instead will have eternal life.

Commit to letting go of the comfortable life you imagined and choose to believe that what God has in store for you is far better. Dare to dream big dreams that are centered on serving Him. Then watch Him go to work.

Will there be struggles? Yes. Will you feel like giving up? Probably. The devil loves to put obstacles in your path when you are trying to do God’s will. But we worship the God that moves mountains, and there is nothing you cannot overcome through Him.

Serve Like Jesus Did.

One of the simplest ways to start stepping out in faith is by serving others. Jesus taught us by example to serve others.

For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many. Mark 10:45

During a time of personal struggle, I cried out to God for guidance. His response was clear: go and be a blessing to someone worse off than yourself. I wasn’t sure how it was going to improve my situation, but I started volunteering at a local non-profit that cares for severely disabled and critically ill children.

Just being around these kids that were suffering constant seizures, most in wheelchairs and tube-fed, gave me a new perspective. It became clear that my troubles were minor in comparison. The other thing that stuck with me was the hope and love that these kids possessed despite their circumstances. I was humbled and inspired.

Volunteering also led me to be recommended for a job I loved that I never would have gotten otherwise. See?! God is good to those who serve Him!

Sacrificing our time and using our gifts to serve others allows opportunities for God to provide confirmation of your good work, which in turn builds trust in Him. Watch as He blesses your obedience and let it strengthen your faith. Humble yourself in service and He will lift you up.

God is not unjust; He will not forget your work and the love you have shown Him as you have helped His people and continue to help them. Hebrews 6:10

Practice Faith Amidst Trials.

When life throws you a major curveball it can be easy to panic. To question God’s plan for your life. It’s times like these we must rely on His promises and carry on as though the battle is already won. Praise Him and thank Him as though he has already solved your problems and wait patiently while He works. Imagine how you will feel when the trials are over and choose to believe in your heart He will get you to that place of peace.

Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours. Mark 11:24

It is really that simple. Our Lord wants so badly for us to trust Him and to place our burdens at His feet. This is why the saying “God helps those who help themselves” is completely false! Nowhere in the Bible does it teach this. Rather, the Bible tells us that God helps the faithful that seek and serve Him.

God doesn’t promise a life without trouble, in fact, He tells us that trials are inevitable. What He does promise is that He will be with us, help us and work everything out for our good.

When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned… Isaiah 43:2

If you are going through a personal time of trial, I highly recommend It’s Not Supposed to Be This Way by Lysa TerKeurst. My church has been studying this in our women’s Bible study this summer and it has been LIFE CHANGING!

Choose Hope Instead of Fear.

I don’t know about you, but fear has kept me from doing a lot in my life. Fear of rejection, fear of failure, fear of the unknown. I tend to imagine the worst-case scenarios in every situation.

Now that my trust in the Lord is growing, I still think of all the “what if”s. But I choose to believe that even if the worst does happen, God is powerful and loving enough to see me through it to my benefit. I’m grateful to say, He has never failed in this!

As Christians, we were not meant for a life of fear.

For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and love and of a sound mind. 2 Timothy 1:7

Fear is a weapon of the enemy. It keeps us stuck and prevents us from growing in our faith and leading others to Christ. Don’t let fear win!

I used to be afraid that obeying God’s plan for my life would mean hardship for my family. I worried that if I worked less to spend more time writing and ministering as I was called, that we’d suffer. But guess what? I chose hope and did it anyway.

Since I have sought to know and to serve Him, my family and I have never gone without as I once feared. On the contrary, we have been happier and more blessed than ever before. We still have our struggles and stresses on occasion. But they don’t seem nearly so bad now that we live confident in the fact that our God keeps His promises.

The Lord is my light and my salvation–whom shall I fear? Psalm 27:1

But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint. Isaiah 40:31

In Conclusion

Remember that heartache I spoke of earlier that initially caused me to doubt? God used it to change my heart and make me a better Christian. In hindsight, I learned so much about God’s love that it changed the way I love others. It has made me a better wife and mother and a more patient person.

After a few years, He mended the relationships that were broken and they are better than ever before. In fact, all my relationships have gotten stronger because of what I learned through that trial.

God is so good and so faithful! He can take any suffering and find a way to work it for good.

God is worthy of our trust. His plans for us are good and He is powerful enough to work miracles for those that seek and serve Him.

I hope this post encourages you to step out in faith so that you experience God’s goodness in ways you never have before!

Submission in Christian Marriage

by amanda@thefruitfulfamily.com | May 4, 2019 | Faith & Inspiration, Family & Fun

Possibly the most challenging and misunderstood aspect of Christian marriage is the submission of wives to their husbands.

Ephesians 5:22-33 (NIV) states, Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

This is a HARD verse for many Christian women. We love our husbands, but the idea of having to obey another person is not appealing for most. I get it. I’m of a rebellious spirit, and I’ve never liked being told what to do.

One thing that really helped my husband and me early on in our marriage was a Bible study our church held using resources from Dr. Emerson Eggerichs. I highly recommend his Love and Respect Live Marriage Conference Couple’s Kit for all married couples, but especially if you are struggling to achieve a stronger and more harmonious connection with your spouse. Dr. Eggerichs is engaging and humorous, and my husband and I actually had fun watching the DVDs together. Not to mention, it really changed the ways we view one another and how we communicate. A must for any Christian couple!

Does God Really Want Me to Submit to My Husband?

According to the dictionary, submission is the action of accepting or yielding to a superior force or to the will or authority of another person. But in the context of the Bible, the word has a deeper, more complex meaning.

First off, I highly recommend you check out this article by John Piper to learn what submission is NOT. https://www.desiringgod.org/articles/six-things-submission-is-not

In short, submission in a Christian marriage does not mean you are controlled or abused by your husband. It does not mean you cannot think for yourself or voice your opinion.

The Bible is specific: submit yourselves to your husbands as you do to the Lord.

The main factor here is that you and your husband must be of one mind: serving the Lord. If your values differ, you may be asked to do things you don’t agree with. That is a problem.

For example, my husband prefers that I dress conservatively (no short skirts or cleavage showing!). I know that’s his preference and I’m good with that. I believe God wants me to be modest and I am more comfortable dressing in a manner that aligns with my values.

My husband’s wishes are in harmony with both of our values. This is KEY! My husband does NOT ask me to do things that are not in line with our Christian values. If he did, it would cause strife in our marriage and our relationship with God.

What Does The Bible Say About Husbands?

Ephesians 5:28 states, “husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.” If your husband truly loves you as he is commanded to, then you can trust that he wants only good things for you. Strife comes to marriage not only when a wife does not obey her husband, but also when a husband is not loving his wife in the way he should. When a woman feels loved completely by her husband, she is free to trust and submit to him in a way that she could not do with anyone else on earth.

So Christ is the head of the church, as the husband is the head of the wife. What does Christ expect from the church? Faithfulness. Devotion. Love. Gratitude. Giving of oneself. These are all good things when you think about it. All of them are commanded of wives.

And what is Christ to the church? Is he faithful? Yes! Has he sacrificed for us? He has made the ultimate sacrifice! Does he love us selflessly and want good things for us? Yes! This is how Jesus wants husbands to be with their wives.

One of the reasons I consider it easy to obey my husband is that he doesn’t ask anything of me he doesn’t already do himself. Of course he expects me to be faithful, as he is faithful to me. He expects me to contribute to the household income, as he also works and more hours than I do. He expects me to take care of our daughter and be a good mother, as he helps parent and works hard to be a good father. Our core values and goals are in line, as are our expectations for each other.

How Do You Biblically Submit to Your Husband?

Show Respect.

When I’m stressed or tired, I occasionally catch myself speaking in a rude tone or just failing to be polite and respectful to my husband in general. But having a rough day is not an excuse for treating someone less than kindly, especially the man you are supposed to love above all others.

Try asking yourself, “Would I talk to my best friend or a revered family member this way?” If the answer is, “Definitely not!” you know this is an area you need to work on.

Another way to think of it is to imagine a group of strangers were to observe you and your husband interacting. Would it be obvious to them that you love and admire him?

Respect is something men need from their wives in order to fulfill their role as a leader in their family. Check out this post from Kathy at Cornerstone Confessions for more ways you can show your husband the respect he craves.

https://cornerstoneconfessions.com/2014/02/99-ways-show-husband-respect.html

Make Him a Priority.

As women, we have a lot on our plates. With kids, work, home responsibilities and countless other commitments it can be easy to let our marriage slide to the back burner. Do what you can to show your husband he is important to you and your family.

Take a minute to stop and greet him when one of you gets home. Ask how his day was. Send a thoughtful text for no reason. It doesn’t have to be a big gesture to be sincere and meaningful.

I admit this is an area where I struggle. I am very goal-oriented and I can get laser-focused on my to-do list. As a result at times, I’ve inadvertently left my husband feeling low on my list. I have to remind myself that my family is my “why” for everything else, and my marriage is far more important than the short-lived sense of accomplishment I get from getting caught up on emails or cleaning the kitchen.

Show Him Physical Affection.

Admittedly, I can go a long time without physical intimacy. My days are busy and by the time our daughter is in bed, I usually just want to put on my PJs and veg in front of the TV. My husband, on the other hand, craves physical attention daily.

As a working mom of a small child with lots of responsibilities, I can’t accommodate my husband’s every desire. But I can make him feel wanted and desirable with passionate kisses, massages, and long embraces.

I also try to make time for things I know will get me in the mood and help me be more receptive to his advances. When I can take time for self-care and exercise, I feel more confident and sexual in general, which in turn leads to more physical intimacy with my husband.

Don’t get me wrong, during nearly 10 years of marriage we’ve had our share of dry spells, but maintaining a strong physical connection as much as possible has greatly strengthened our marriage.

Listen Actively.

I am a multi-tasker. If I am not doing more than one thing at once, I am planning in my mind the best ways to do 20 other things. Multi-tasking (even mentally) is not cohesive to active listening.

I recently decided to make a conscious effort to stop and look at my husband every time he spoke. To focus and take in what he was saying without thinking about what my response was going to be or what I needed to ask him.

I wasn’t successful 100% of the time, but I did notice less tension in our conversations and a better connection in our marriage in general. And it’s no surprise.

Communication is essential in a healthy marriage, and the first step is effective listening. No one feels respected if they don’t feel heard!

Compromise.

Compromise is still important!

Say your husband doesn’t want you to work, but stay home with the kids. You feel you still need the challenge of working and want the financial benefits of a dual income household.

Try to understand his reasoning behind his request. Does he not trust others to watch the kids? Is he worried you may not have enough time for him? Once you understand his concerns, you can address this issue and present a compromise that could work for both of you. Whether it’s scheduling a regular date night or finding a way to work from home, odds are you can probably both have what you want.

There is always give and take in a successful marriage. What’s important is that both partners have their feelings heard and addressed in a manner that is respectful and loving.

Pray Together.

Can’t come to an agreement you’re both happy with? Pray together for a solution! God is able to work things out in ways we could never do for ourselves. Just the act of coming together in prayer can be powerful.

You may not find an immediate solution to your disagreement (give it time), but you’ll feel closer to God and one another!

Practicing love and submission in marriage requires effort and understanding, but I truly believe that if a husband and wife are strong in their Christian faith and try every day to live by His word, a good marriage is inevitable. It takes a commitment from both parties but with prayer and grace, it is very possible to have the life long partnership God intended.

Help a Sick Loved One in 7 Simple Ways

by amanda@thefruitfulfamily.com | Jul 26, 2018 | Faith & Inspiration, Family & Fun

It’s easy to take good health for granted, whether our own or that of our family and friends. Unfortunately, as many of us know, when a loved one’s health declines it can turn our world upside down. We may feel powerless because so much is out of our control. Here are just a few ways we can offer care and support in order to help a sick loved one.

I speak from experience when I say, it can make you feel helpless when someone you love gets very sick.

They may feel scared or be in pain. If the illness is prolonged or terminal, they may even feel depressed or hopeless at times. Caring for someone in such a condition is a heavy burden. But you can get through it if you stay positive and rely on God for your strength.

I’ve spent my fair share of time in hospitals and doctors’ offices. Not for myself, but for my family. First was my grandmother, who lived with us when I was growing up and suffered a stroke, then terminal cancer. I can still remember the furniture in the hospital canteen. My sister and I always kept quarters in our pockets for the vending machines. Our home was full of medical equipment. We even a hospital bed in our dining room because we couldn’t fit it down the hall to get it into a bedroom. I never appreciated all that my mother did to care for her at the time.

A little over a decade later and my mother was diagnosed with an aggressive form of cancer. Radiation and chemotherapy commenced. I was only in my early twenties, just out of college. I made an effort to go with her and my dad to doctor’s appointments and chemo.

Looking back there was a lot more I could have done for her, but at the time I just didn’t know how to handle it.

By the time my father was hospitalized with diverticulitis another decade later, I felt more capable of caring for him. I knew enough to write down his medications and doses, his vitals, and questions to ask the doctor when he made his next round. It wasn’t easy, but by the grace of God, he made a full recovery.

Here are a few simple ways you can be there for a loved one when they are sick.

Make them laugh.

Constantly being poked and prodded by doctors and trapped in hospital rooms can be frustrating and undignified. Whatever humility a person has goes right out the window once they’re forced to wear those hideous gowns that open in the back. But there is humor in those situations if you know where to look.

There is truth in the saying, “laughter is the best medicine.” Laughing can reduce stress and promote healing! So crack a joke, turn on a good sitcom (The Golden Girls was my mom and grandma’s favorite) and help them forget about the seriousness of it all, even if only for a little while.

Be present.

Visit. Get their minds off doctor visits and medications. Make it a regular habit to give a sense of normalcy. You don’t want to only visit when they’ve taken a turn for the worse or you’ll start to seem like the grim reaper. You don’t have to always know what to say, just show up and be supportive and encouraging.

Help with daily tasks.

Bring over dinner, do their grocery shopping, cleaning, or laundry. Drive them to the doctor, and offer moral support when receiving test results. When we’re healthy we may take for granted all the little things that need doing on a daily basis. You can relieve a huge burden by taking on some of these responsibilities.

If you are not one of the primary caregivers, you can still be a big help to those who are by taking on some of these tasks. It is very important to help them to take care of themselves so they can be there for their sick loved one without suffering from burnout or excessive stress. Offer to come and sit for a while so they can have a break, watch their kids, or anything else that would allow them to rest and recharge.

Insist.

Often people don’t want to be a bother and will refuse help even when they need it. Be sure to tell him or her why you want to help (you’ve always prayed for me, you’ve been kind to my children, you’ve been a wonderful example in our community, etc). This will help them to feel respected instead of pitied.

Advocate for them.

People suffering from a serious illness are obviously not at their best and need help determining their care options and choosing the right ones. Work with the hospital to help keep track of their medications, explain the necessary treatments/procedures and inform them of their rights and options. If you can’t personally take on this role, reach out to family members and connect them with a patient advocate at the hospital.

Know their wishes.

If you are going to advocate effectively for someone, you have to have a good understanding of what they would want in a given scenario.

I can remember riding in the ambulance when they took my mother to the hospital. The paramedics kept asking me, “Is she a D.N.R?” In my panic, I had to ask what that meant (do not resuscitate), but once they reminded me, I knew the answer: “NO!” I knew my mother did not want to be kept on life support if she was not going to recover. But I also knew she also didn’t want to go without a fight. I told the E.M.T.s with confidence (and insistence) to perform whatever lifesaving techniques were necessary to keep her breathing and get her to the hospital.

You do not want to have to be calling other family members to ask these questions in an emergency. So prepare for the worst well in advance so you know what to do if that time comes.

Pray for them, and with them.

James 5:14-15 says, Is anyone among you sick? Let them call the elders of the church to pray over them and anoint them with oil in the name of the Lord. And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise them up. If they have sinned, they will be forgiven.

…the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise them up.

Prayer is POWERFUL! More and more studies are proving the healing power of prayer. For example, a double-blind study conducted at Duke University Medical Center found that within a group of 150 cardiac post-operative patients, those that were prayed for had the highest success rates.

A similar study conducted at San Francisco General Hospital’s Coronary Care Unit exhibited comparable results. The patients that were prayed for were much less likely to need urgent critical care and had a lower rate of death!

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/enlightened-living/201007/the-science-psychology-and-metaphysics-prayer

But what if your loved one is not a believer?

Everyone that has found salvation and redemption through Jesus Christ wants the same for their family and friends. If someone you love does not have a relationship with Jesus, and especially if they are terminally ill, I pray that God will give you the courage and the right words to guide them to our Lord and savior.

Through Jesus’ death and resurrection, we have all been given the chance at eternal life. His promises give us hope in our darkest hour. Even when our earthly bodies fail, we can take comfort in knowing there is so much more waiting for us with Him in Heaven.

Caring for a sick loved one is one of life’s greatest trials. But the Lord has given you all you need to provide comfort and strength to those who need it.